category: weight loss

The Result Is Its Own Reward

Official weigh-in today shows that I'm less than five pounds away from my 10% goal. I lost 1.2 pounds this week, despite sharing a strawberry rhubarb pie with Aaron at the Fulton County Fair.

This weekend, I was eyeing my Sterilite container full of too-small clothes that were too cool to thrift off. I'd told myself that I wasn't going to try any of them on until I had dropped another size, just so I wouldn't be disappointed... but I was curious. So, I pulled the box down from the top of the closet, pulled on an XL girly tee from Wizzywig — and it fit.

OMG. I can haz cute clothes?

The XL girly tees I bought from Threadless aren't quite fitting the way I'd like them to — the armpits are bunching up a little — but it won't be long on those. They fit well enough that they're perfectly serviceable for bumming around the house after work, though.

I can comfortably wear 2XL girly tees from Steve & Barry's (which is what started this whole process of wondering about my other cute clothes), but I couldn't find anything terribly awesome to buy last time I was there.

The only thing that's kind of frustrating is that there's really no way to target fat loss from particular places on the body, like thighs and upper arms and upper belly. I can exercise them and firm up the muscles underneath, but that won't burn off the fat on top. So I'll just have to wait. As a next step to teh cuteness, I'd really love to feel comfortable in non-knee-length shorts.

Maybe by next summer. For now, I'm at least on the right track.

 

Weight Watchers Milestone

Today I received my 16 Week "Clapping Hands" award for attending 16 weeks of Weight Watchers meetings. This falls under the "eighty percent of success is showing up" category, and I'm not as proud of it as I am the simple star sticker I also received today for losing another five pounds. (Our leader didn't give out my five-pound star in front of everyone in the meeting, though, since it would clue everyone in about at what pace I'm losing weight. Not that I really care if everyone knows I'm losing about one pound a week.)

I have just over five pounds to lose per the official Weight Watchers scales until I hit my 10% goal — it's been statistically proven that losing 10% of your body weight can have a major positive impact on your health, and that goal is built right into the WW program.

Slow and steady wins the race and all that... If I ever need a pick-me-up, though, I look back over the past five-plus years and see how far I've come:

Thanks to the wonders of blogging (and journaling in general), I can map most of these trends in gains and losses to a particular time in my life: pre-wedding, Atkins, complacency, dieting, unemployment, Weight Watchers. It's a valuable tool, and I'm glad I've been anal-retentive about weighing and charting over the years.

Since I'm a shutterbug, too, I can map photos to all these weights: obese Diana in 2002, post-Atkins Diana in 2004 (still wearing pre-Atkins clothes), almost-obese Diana in 2006, and less-overweight Diana now, in 2008.

Yo-yo dieting? Not exactly. Actually, not at all. I lost 50 pounds — and I still maintain that low-carb diets are a valid way to lose a shit-ton of weight and see the results you need to keep you motivated — and I hovered within a ten-pound range over the course of three or four years. And now I'm back on the wagon and picking up where I left off.

Perspective. I haz it.

 

Weight Loss: Noticing the Little Things

I'm starting to step back from myself and see the differences between then and now. It's surreal, almost.

For instance: when I reach around to scratch my shoulder, there's a definite lack of a fat layer there. I can feel the boniness of my shoulder blade, and the existence of that little hollow at the top and back of my shoulder area.

Also: when I lay on my side to go to sleep at night, I'll sometimes wrap one arm around myself and kind of tuck it under my rib area. This rib area is actually starting to feel like ribs, and not like some sort of water balloon or something.

I've always had a gut. I think the anatomy of this gut is partially hereditary, being that all the womenfolk in my family have had the same shape of lower-abdominal fatness. Anyway, I was sitting on the john today, and realized (as I had some time on my hands) that my gut is deflating. I actually picked it up as best I could and squished it around and noted that it feels much less dense than it once did. I can still quite easily pinch more than an inch, but now it at least feels like skin with some fat underneath it, rather than a big, dense girl gut.

It's fun to notice the small things as I lose weight bit by bit. Funny — back in late 2002, I noticed I was getting fat obese when little things caught my attention: like the fact that the fat-roll creases in my love-handles were permanent and only went away with a major side bend, and like the fact that there was no space between my arms and my torso when I stood up straight.

I guess little things can make a big difference — in a good way — if you let them.

 

Feeling Fitter

I mentioned earlier that I am now at the lowest weight I've been in probably ten years. What's interesting is that I'm actually starting to feel it.

This week, I started actively working out in the evenings again. On Monday, I dug out one of my old PUSH DVDs from two years ago and did a 40-minute full-body strength-training workout. Yesterday, I did a grow-your-own sort of lower body and ab workout (focusing on the muscles that weren't already sore). Today was Zen, so no workout, although the deep breathing involved in a half hour of zazen really garners some of the same effects, I think.

I'm not sure if it's my body glomming onto the exercise it's been craving or what, but I feel taller and thinner this week. Plus, swear to Jebus, I reached up to scratch my upper arm today, and actually felt the definition between my triceps and my deltoids. I don't think I've ever noticed that on me before.

Also: I recorded a video clip of myself yesterday (that's a different post entirely), and noticed that my face and neck are getting noticeably thinner. I even filmed from what would normally be a horribly unflattering angle for me — basically, up my nose — and the double-chin only flashed into existence once or twice, and only because I was looking for it. For the most part, my face looks more square than round now, and my neck has definition instead of flab. Not much jiggle happening, despite the fact that I was playing "drums." (More on that later, I promise.)

So. This Weight Watchers thing seems to be coming up roses so far. I'm losing an average of about... *crunches some numbers* ...just over a pound a week since the middle of May. Assuming I keep at the same pace, that would put me at my 10% goal by the first day of Autumn. Maybe we'll see if I can't step things up a little, and speed up the pace to two pounds a week.

First on the horizon, though: making it successfully through Thursday evening and Friday in Cleveland, at funeral services for Grammie, where there will almost certainly be some sort of comfort food to be had at some point, and not much opportunity for a nice long walk around Lakewood with Aaron. Real life doesn't re-route itself just because we're on a diet, though... and Grammie did Weight Watchers herself in the '70s, and frequently sang its praises, so she'd want us to stay on program. And we will.

 

A Red-Letter Day in Weight Loss

Today, I weighed in at the lowest weight I've been in over five years.

When I started logging my weight back in November of 2002, I was about six months away from getting married, and I was obese. I thought that by being more conscious of what I was eating and by documenting my weight, I would manage to somehow lose weight before the wedding. Unfortunately, my wedding pictures ended up being my "before" pictures, as I weighed somewhere between 245 and 250 pounds on my wedding day.

In September of 2003, one week after I'd broken myself of my Mountain Dew addiction and was beginning a pasta-free week, Aaron decided to go on the Atkins Diet; I decided to join him. I lost 33 pounds in four months, and continued to lose for the next six months after that, eventually coming to a stop after having lost 50 pounds total. At that point, in July 2004, Aaron had reached the upper end of his normal weight range, and decided to go on Maintenance. After a year of dieting, I was glad to "take a break" myself, even though I still had thirty pounds to go.

For the next few years, we still ate low-carb, but weren't in active weight-loss mode. I slowly put on ten pounds over the next two years ("Chinese won't hurt me, just this once..."), then slowly took that ten pounds back off with the help of my friend Sheryl and a diet plan she e-mailed me. Actually, I took off more than ten pounds with that plan; it took me a whole year, but I got all the way down to 195, which was lower than my Atkins all-time low.

My next major hurdle came when I found out I would be losing my job of five years. My entire building was being eliminated due to a merger, so we all tried to make the best of it by having lots of parties on work time and organizing potlucks and generally trying to keep chipper with food and games. My weight loss had already stalled by then, but my lack of willpower — or, rather, my desire to join in and eat all the yummy consolation food — helped my weight start to creep back up. I'd gained a few back by the time I became unemployed, but I then proceeded to gain ten pounds in under six weeks of unemployment.

The past seven months or so have seen me succeed in losing ten pounds, gain five of it back, then lose another ten on Weight Watchers. I'm now down to a weight I haven't seen for probably ten years or more.

And this is just the beginning.

After the jump: weights and measures...

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Little Bit of Everything

I don't do these massive update posts much anymore — I prefer to keep my blog entries on one topic at a time — but I figured I'd do one catch-up post, then maybe expound on parts of it later. So, working backwards from today...

Weighed in today at 196.5 lbs on my home scale — that's one and a half pounds away from my recent all-time low of 195 from May 2007. (Yep, I gained 15 pounds in six months, and it took me longer than that to lose it again.) It was a bit of a disappointment, then, to weigh in at my Weight Watchers meeting at 200.4 lbs, even after I had an ultra-light breakfast and didn't drink much water before the weigh-in. My mini-goal had been to weigh in under 200 pounds at the meeting. Oh, well — I guess I'll wait until next weigh-in to hit my mini-goal, and to reward myself with some shorts and dress pants and blouses that fit.

My supervisor asked me this morning if I'd like to attend a User Group meeting in Lansing (two hours away) this Thursday. Then she asked me if I could drive, since her car doesn't have air conditioning. D'oh! So, I'll be getting up at the buttcrack of dawn on Thursday, driving with my supervisor for two hours, attending four hours of Business Intelligence lectures and panels, then having lunch and driving two hours back. At least we don't have to work for the last couple hours of the day; basically, my day gets shifted forward by two hours.

I landed a freelance web design gig yesterday. Actually, I pretty much "landed" it last Wednesday, when he asked me if I do web design, but yesterday's client meeting was the first official sealing of our new business relationship. He's the resident conductor of a local orchestra, so I'm basically making him a PR tool, which is perfect work for me. I underpriced myself, as per usual, but I made sure to leave myself an out: a flat fee for the first 20 hours, then an hourly fee for the next 20, topping out at 40 hours. So, I won't have totally hosed myself.

This past weekend, Aaron and I went up to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. Great time, as always. I took a few pictures (with the Holga, too, although I'll have to wait until those are developed to post them), and I bought one expensive thing and one not-so-expensive thing.

Oh, and I still need to get this blog moved to its new home on another web host, and not just because something's borked with my MT installation/upgrade (as you will have noticed if you tried to comment on a post lately — your comments ARE going through, I promise). I have until the end of August to get my stuff moved — which, incidentally, is also the deadline for getting my freelance site done. I'm going to be looking at some mighty busy evenings here. I'll need to carefully ration out my time.

And now I should get to bed, because I need to ready myself for my epic early-morning wakey-wakey in another day or so. I haven't gotten up at 5:30am since... um... well, it's been a while. Not counting jet lag in another timezone, of course.

 

Weight Watching, Week Ten

I gained one pound since last week's weigh-in, but I'm OK with that. See, I've kept up with the practice of weighing myself daily at home, and I know that I've actually maintained a slow but steady decline. For last week's weigh-in, I ate a ridiculously tiny breakfast and drank just enough water to take my multivitamin, just so I would weigh in at hair-cutting weight at noon. It only makes sense that today, after eating a normal breakfast and drinking a full glass of water (at least) before noon, I could weigh more.

I've also noticed small things, like the looseness of the dress pants I wear to work — even the ones I just bought recently. My bras fit better now. Some of my shirts hang just a little funny in places. I think my neck / double-chin is shrinking. My posture is better (for the most part).

A big part of my recent successes is the companionship of Aaron on the diet bandwagon. Since he's decided to officially eat healthier and exercise, I'm less tempted to eat things I shouldn't. He's the main grocery shopper, so the food in the house is now overwhelmingly healthy (although we still have some throwbacks in the fridge and cupboards), and there's very little to tempt either of us. Plus, the weekends are on their way to becoming times to try out new recipes (like Asian Mushroom Stir-Fry) instead of eating out at the Indian buffet (and not stopping at one plateful).

Overall, I'm doing well. I'm slowly ramping up my exercise — I don't allow myself to watch Good Eats unless I'm on the mini trampoline — and I'm eating my fruits and veggies and drinking my water.

I'm learning to work the program... so the program will work for me. That's my mantra.

 

Mini Weight Loss Goals Work.

I announced in my Weight Watchers meeting a few weeks ago that the way I was going to Treat Myself Well (the theme of the meeting) would be to reward myself with a haircut after I lost four pounds. Today, I weighed in precisely four pounds lighter than I was that day.

I've been looking forward to this for weeks; even though I only declared my intention publicly a few weeks ago, I'd been wanting to cut my hair since before we went on vacation in May. Although it's not the perfect cut, I do like having thirteen inches off of my hair — and, as always, I like the thought that my hair will go to help a cancer-stricken kid have a head of hair again.

 

Starting Week Seven

So, here I am, at the beginning of Week #7 of Weight Watchers. I've acclimated myself to how the program works. I know the Points® values for the foods I eat most often. I've adjusted my way of eating, slowly but surely, toward more veggies and less meat.

Now it's time to really make the commitment.

Because I've lost less than three pounds in the past six weeks. And I want to see more results.

Meetings are helpful, and weigh-ins impose a sense of accountability that might not otherwise be in effect (despite my incessant blogging about my weight). Still, when I've gained nearly a pound in a week without meaning to, it's hard to hear about the woman who's lost 57 pounds — and not just hear about her, but hear HER, herself, explaining what's different now, saying how she's still got a long way to go, and referring to Flex Points as "devil points."

It makes me want to cry sometimes. What are these people doing differently from me, that they lose five pounds in a single week, and I can't even do that in a month and a half? What's wrong with me?

I ask myself that a lot, it seems.

Of course, when I get like this, it makes me want to crawl into a little hole and eat one-point fudge bars all evening, and not do the things I should be doing (mainly exercising), and that doesn't help matters. Me skipping out on Aikido tomorrow would be a Very Bad Idea™, since I need to get back into the swing of things.

But, damn, I'm just so depressed. I'd rather curl up on the couch and take a nap.

Aaron tried to cheer me up, and he did a pretty good job of it, too. "You're all depressed over 0.8 pounds?" he asked, and reminded me that I'm still headed in the general direction of where I need to go. That was helpful, and made me feel better, to an extent.

I need a little Aaron on my shoulder all the time, to drown out the little Diana on the other shoulder that berates me for sleeping in too late and not exercising enough and generally being a schmuck in so many ways.

 

One Small Step For A Diana

I had this carefully crafted blog intro I wrote out at work today, all about this song I remembered from Junior High choir called "Little By Little," and how the lyrics apply to my life.

Instead of using said intro, I'm just going to tell you that I started my running program this evening, after much hemming and hawing and giving up before I started and getting reinvigorated by things I read online.

Tonight, I spent 20 minutes alternating a one-minute run with a three-minute walk. I just went around the one-mile block that I generally walk if I want a pleasant but not too lengthy walk. It was just about dusk, which made me a little more comfortable about running in the potential presence of other people (since, even if someone were outside at dusk, they wouldn't see me very well, anyway).

The first running minute was a piece of cake. I could have kept going, no problem, but I knew better. The second stint of running was a little more challenging, but not bad. Actually, none of them were "bad" at all. They were all short enough that I didn't feel like I was going to die at the end, like I usually do with running (because I push myself too hard right off the bat). The only stretch of running that felt long was the last one, and that was partially because it WAS long — I was almost home, and there was someone outside in his driveway; so instead of stopping right in front of him, I ran past and crossed the street toward my house and tacked on another 20 seconds to my running time.

Tomorrow is Aikido, for the first time in over a month (the longest break I think I've taken from Aikido since I started nearly one year ago). I'm going to ease myself back into Aikido, going every Wednesday for a while, then easing back into a Wednesday / Saturday routine, and maybe eventually going to Mon / Wed / Sat. For now, though, I'm planning to do an evening walk/jog on Tuesdays and Thursdays, try to do one on Sunday mornings (can I make myself get up?), and do Aikido on Wednesdays. After I'm sure I'm acclimated to that, then I'll start filling in Aikido and maybe some strength training in the remaining days (or in addition to my run?).

Man, that felt good. I always forget how good exercise feels!

Beyond the jump: unfair comparisons, and current weights & measures.

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Weight-Loss Battle Plan #1: The Short List

Aaron and I like to go out to eat on weekends. It's what we do. It wasn't what we did once upon a time, when we were both poor college kids, but it's what we do now.

Eating out wasn't easy when we were on Atkins, almost five years ago, but we knew what we could eat and figured out how to adjust our dining to suit. Once we got into the groove of Atkins, there were very few places where we couldn't finagle ourselves some meat and veggies without bread or starch.

Enter Weight Watchers.

This isn't a more challenging plan overall; in fact, I appreciate being able to eat pretty much whatever I want in moderation. There are things to stay away from, as a general rule, but very few (if any) completely forbidden foods. It's all about planning ahead.

In that vein, I decided to make a "short list" of restaurants and entrees that would work out well for my current diet. So, when Aaron gets up on Saturday morning and asks me where I want to eat, I can pull a name out of my arsenal of good choices, instead of playing the "I don't know — where do YOU want to go" game until we're both so hungry that I just give in to the siren song of the Chinese buffet.

Some places have online menus with nutritional information; for those places, I look online and decide on two or maybe three different menu items to choose from when I get there. For restaurants that don't have their own nutrition facts online, but that are easily researchable, I take my digital camera (for lack of a cameraphone) and photograph my plate of food. That way, I can go back later and tally up what I ate (and compare it to my mental calculations of what I'd *thought* I ate).

So, without further ado, I present The Short List:

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Spring Challenge, Week #6

I know it seems like weight loss updates are all I've been posting lately; at least, it does to me. I've been spending more time playing Culdcept Saga and figuring out some blog coding tweaks than sitting down and blogging, so I haven't really been posting any substantive blog entries of late. I wish I could promise that will change... but I can reliably promise no such thing. I can but try.

At any rate, I'm back on the decline! Tuesday's WW weigh-in had me down 2.4 pounds from last week, and today's Spring Challenge weigh-in had me down 1.5 pounds from my spring starting weight. Any way you look at it, it's good news.

BUT. Next week starts my vacation.

Am I taking a vacation from healthy eating and exercise? Not entirely. I'm planning to continue tracking my food until the day we leave for Hawaii, and begin tracking again the day we return (or once the jet lag subsides). While I'm in Hawaii, I'm going to stick to reasonable eating habits: not stuffing myself overfull, not going completely ballistic on booze and sweets, and definitely staying active. We'll be in Hawaii, for gods sakes! Beautiful weather, all the time. Swimming, walking — I might even join the local Aikido club for an hour's romp.

I honestly don't expect to gain much (if any) weight during those seven days. That's the plan, anyway.

 

Spring Challenge, Week #5

I'm not sure why I keep posting updates. Both James and I are sucking it up big time, and really can't seem to keep focused on our weight loss goals. I'm back above my spring starting weight again.

However.

I took a big leap on my birthday (Tuesday, for those of you who aren't keeping track): I joined Weight Watchers. My employer sponsors a Weight Watchers At Work program, so I can go to a WW meeting with my co-workers during my lunch break every Tuesday. It seems fairly well attended — I think there were at least 25 people there, probably more.

I didn't get the standard-length Getting Started talk; instead, I got a quick explanation and the Week One materials. I'm OK with that, though, as everything seems fairly self-explanatory. The program isn't difficult to understand. Take a short assessment of your activity level, current weight, gender, and age to calculate the number of points you should eat in a day; use the nifty slide rule to compare fat and calories and fiber to calculate the points value of a food; and track what you eat as you eat it.

Easier said than done.

I'm discovering some important things about myself. Firstly: I am an evening eater. During the day, at work, I'll eat something small every two hours, and I'm fine. Once I get home, though, it's time to relax and kick back — and part of the comfort of home is the comfort of food. I enjoy the physical act of eating.

Which brings me to my second point: if it's in the house, I'm going to eat it. Before I decided to go on WW, I asked Aaron to buy some cans of Beefaroni during the weekly grocery run. (I knew I was being naughty, but I didn't care.) Once I committed to WW, I could easily have stuck them in the back of the shelf and pretended they weren't there. Did I? No. Instead, I calculated that one can of Beefaroni is ten, count 'em, ten points, and proceeded to eat the Beefaroni anyway.

Also during last weekend, I had a moment of weakness and bought some homemade sweets from a guy at the flea market: coconut-covered date rolls, chocolate-covered banana chips, and chocolate-covered espresso beans. I've been fairly good at keeping my hands out of those, though. Somehow.

Not only am I finding it challenging to slow my evening eating, but I'm finding Weight Watchers to be a major paradigm shift from eating low-carb in general (I haven't been on the Atkins Diet proper for some time now). Things that I used to think were fine — unbreaded catfish nuggets, protein bars and shakes, peanut butter — are now taboo. Things that were once taboo — fruits galore and real milk, among others — are now encouraged. Where before I could satiate my snackie fix with an Ostrim (ostrich/beef stick — very lean), now I must go with strawberries or pickles.

I'm not expecting big things out of this first week. I've already eaten through most of my flex points for the week (even if you don't count that first day, when I just ate "normal" to see how many points that would be). I know I'll get the hang of it, and learn all the tricks of the Weight Watchers masters. For now, I really just have to focus on being dogmatic about the diet: Do what they say to do. Don't question. Don't go outside the lines. They know what works.

I've also discovered some motivation that I wish I would have thought of sooner: trying on the swimsuit I'll be wearing on vacation in two weeks. It's a one-piece that I bought a couple of years ago and haven't had the chance to wear for real. While it does fit... I really feel like a sausage in it. My husband is probably the only person who will think this is sexy. And now there's no time to do anything about it. I can't take care of this in just two weeks. Well, I could, but it wouldn't be healthy.

So, without trying to sound too down on myself, that's where I stand. Can't keep focused. Feel frumpy. Thinking that 175 pounds is a pipe dream.

I'm not as fat as I was. I have a lower BMI than many people in my Weight Watchers group. But that doesn't mean I'm happy with the way I look and feel.

You'd think that would be enough motivation, wouldn't you? Meh.

 

Spring Challenge, Week #4

Another quick update: back to spring starting weight, after re-losing the few pounds I gained from eating so well much during the Anime Punch weekend extravaganza.

Seriously contemplating either a.) a new low-carb diet or b.) Weight Watchers. Either will require me to be good mindful of what I eat on weekends. Either would be more effective than what I'm doing now (a grow-your-own sort of calorie-counting almost-Zone diet).

It would be easy to berate myself here, but Sensei charged us during Zen yesterday to practice doing no harm this week, both to self and others, and berating myself would only be harmful. So, I will instead accept my shortcomings, bow to them, and let them go.

And come up with a new plan.

 

Spring Challenge, Week #3

Just a quick update: I'm down 0.7% from my spring starting weight, and James is down 1.6%.

I've been having some weird fluctuations in motivation and mood lately. On one hand, I can see how these fluctuations are directly related to what i eat and when; on the other hand, it's damned hard to change habits sometimes, even when they're detrimental to one's well-being. Basically, I need to eat lighter in the evenings, and lay off of the carbohydrates late in the day (even whole grains), otherwise I'm more inclined to munch all night (or until I manage to make myself full).

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

 

Spring Challenge, Week #2

James is kicking that ass, and is down 1.6% from his Spring starting weight.

I, on the other hand, am 1½ pounds up from my Spring starting weight. I ate poorly during my weekend Aikido seminar, on top of having sore and swollen muscles, so my weight shot up drastically. Then, as I was finally starting to drop the excess weight mid-week, I got a cold — the kind of cold that, at the beginning (while my nose still worked properly), made me just want to curl up on the couch under a blankie and eat mac & cheese while watching TV.

Where's my motivation?

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Spring Challenge, Week #1

The short version: Both James and I lost one pound each this week, after a weekend of poor food choices and general culinary debauchery. That makes him down 0.4%, and me down 0.5%, just by virtue of our different starting weights.

The long version I'll put after the jump, as it's come to my attention that not everyone wants to hear the same diet and fitness crap week in and week out. Which is pretty much what it's come to, isn't it?

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Spring Challenge Begins Now

Happy Spring Equinox!

Today is the day when James and I reset our Weight Loss Challenge. Since both of us did relatively well in January, then started to slack in February and March, James came up with the idea of having a do-over starting the first day of Spring. And here we are:

(I know my feet look grotesquely veined and aikido-scarred in this light. So be it.)

James has informed me that he's going to win before I leave to go on vacation on May 7th, so I guess I'd better step it up. I'll have to lose just under two pounds a week to hit my goal of 194.5 in time to maintain it for a week before leaving for Hawaii. For those of you keeping score, 194.5 will be a recent record low for me; I think my record is 195, actually, and I only saw that for a day or two several years ago.

So, how am I going to do it? Well, I figure that doing what I was doing back in January would be a good start, since I lost an average of just under two pounds per week through January and into February. My plans would therefore include a.) attending Aikido regularly; b.) planning my meals in advance (sometimes making a week's worth of lunches on Sunday night); and c.) practicing restraint and portion-control on weekends. My general guide will be the Reasonable Diet's "I-Week Diet," at least in the beginning: fruits, veggies, lean meats, whole grains, and no sweets (although that's a terrible oversimplification). As for calorie breakdowns, I'm planning to keep it reminiscent of the Zone Diet: 40% carbohydrate, 30% protein, and 30% calories from fat. That seems to work well for me.

As usual, I'll be tracking my food with my DietOrganizer Palm OS app, which totally rules. It's actually a big part of my strategy, as I can see my calorie percentages as they readjust during the day. The only thing it doesn't do that I wish it did is sync to my computer so I can see the graphs and manipulate the data on a larger scale. I also bought myself a fancy pedometer that I'm going to calibrate tonight and start wearing tomorrow. It came with tracking software, too, so I can sync it up to my PC and track how far I've walked over time.

Something else that's going to be important is sleep. Yes, sleep. I've read about enough studies that link changes in sleep with changes in weight, so I'm going to make a concerted effort to get a minimum of 8 hours a night. I usually only get around seven hours during the week, if that; I tend to sleep in on the weekends, though, usually getting about ten hours, and sometimes twelve if I'm feeling especially lazy/snuggly. My plan is not to expect too much of myself during the evenings, as far as productivity goes, and to turn off my computer by 9:30pm. (So, if you see me on Google Talk or AIM after 10pm on a weeknight, tell me to wrap things up and go to bed already!) :-)

I've lost 7½ pounds so far this year. (More than that, actually, but I gained back a few and re-lost them.) I'm back to where I felt stable and quasi-comfortable last year. Now it's time to step it up and get down to where I'll start to actually feel good again.

 

The Challenge Reboots Next Week

It's been a week of ups and downs for me, weight-wise. The weekend was bad. Very bad. Worse than it should have been, mainly because of my inability to STOP EATING.

(One piece of Enchilada Casserole for Sunday dinner would have been OK. Two was pushing it. Three was definitely being bad. But four? Four was redonkulous. And I knew it. And I paid for it in physical discomfort for some time afterward. Aaron and I polished off an entire 9"x13" pan of Enchilada Casserole in one sitting, and it was a Poor Idea™. But not really Aaron's fault, as I could easily have begged off after having seconds.)

All last week, I chose not to log my food, just to see what would happen. What happened was that I steadily lost weight: half a pound a day, give or take. Then the weekend happened. But on Monday, I turned it around, and by today's weigh-in, I was back down to having lost 3% of my body weight since January 1st.

James and I have really been having a time of it. I did really well for the first five weeks, then my weekly average weight chart started heading the wrong direction for the next four. This week, I'm finally on the decline again, so far:

Today, when James and I were checking in with each other via e-mail, he made a suggestion: Why don't we make this challenge a Spring Fling and call a redo starting March 20th — the first day of Spring? I'll go with that, sure! (Especially since a Thursday weigh-in will keep me going to Aikido on Wednesday nights.)

So, next week begins a new challenge, a new starting point, and a new attitude. Rather, a continuation of the new attitude I've cultivated so far this week. Plus, I could use a new starting point to determine a new ending point; I want to have this competition in the bag by... *calculates a reasonable date by which to lose ten pounds* ...by the time I go to the World Crokinole Championship in Ontario, early this June. (No joke. I'll tell you all about it later.)

Really, though: there's no shame in calling a do-over when both parties would benefit from a fresh perspective.

 

The Challenge: Weeks #8 & #9

These weights are snapshots of each Tuesday, not weekly averages, but dang. We're both slipping off course in a big way.

Aikido will be a big help in upcoming weeks, as I start going back to class. I'll be ramping up my participation in Aikido over the next few weeks in preparation for the weekend-long workshop with Bill-Sensei, my Sensei's teacher. It's a big deal, and not to be missed, but I'm concerned about me being able to last through a Friday evening, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning. Hence, the ramping-up of activity to prepare.

I choose to give myself one week of not journaling my eating habits, during which I'm going to take a long, hard look at what my goals are and what I'm willing to do to achieve them. I'm just coming off of a weird time at work, with lots of training out-of-town (well, two out of the last three weeks, anyway), and I feel like I need time to settle my brains.

I've also been kind of slightly depressed/jealous after seeing a friend's vacation photos from Barbados. (I know you didn't mean it, but girlfriend, you look super-curvy-hot.) My friend — we'll just call her BG, but she can speak up here if she wants — is probably my same BMI, but shorter, and... well... there's no sensitive way to put it: she has HUGE hooters. Huge. And she looks mighty fine in a bikini, let me tell you. Curves in all the right places, and all smooth textured skin. If I were into girls... well, since I'm not, we won't go there.

I looked at last year's "before" pictures of me in my first-ever-as-an-adult two-piece swimsuit (that will probably never be seen by anyone in public), and was highly disappointed. My stomach has this weird indent around the waistline from wearing too-tight jeans all through junior high and high school (why didn't anyone ever tell me about the Muffin Top?). My thighs are all dimply, and I'm a little knock-kneed (although I'm probably the only one who notices).

I know I shouldn't compare myself to my friend BG, but it's hard. I can compare me now to me back in 2003, fifty pounds ago... but that seems like an old victory. I've stayed within a ten-pound range for the past four years or so, but I'm not done with myself. I have a good thirty or thirty-five pounds before I'm where I'd love to be, although I'd be satisfied with losing another fifteen for now.

It's all a matter of what I'm willing to do. I need to sit down and give that some thought this week.

 

The Challenge: Weeks #6 & #7

	Diana	James
Week 1:	0.5%	1.5%
Week 2:	1.6%	2.3%
Week 3:	3.8%	2.3%
Week 4:	3.8%	3.5%
Week 5:	4.2%	???
Week 6:	4.0%	3.4%
Week 7:	3.5%	???

Famous last words: "If I stick to my diet and ramp up the exercise, I see no reason why I shouldn't reach my 5% goal this week."

Blah.

I actually did very well while I was out of town for my training. I ate a small breakfast every day, ate a sensible lunch (though not always nutrient-rich — lunch for a couple of days was jerky and trail mix), and ate whatever for dinner. I didn't let myself get overly stuffed, though, even at the Chinese buffet. This past week's downfall was — drumroll, please? — the weekend. Mediterranean food and Max & Erma's were both part of my weekend. I can't remember what the third meal out was, but it wasn't good for me, obviously. I ballooned to 207 after the weekend's food festivities.

My weekly average weight chart is starting to curve the wrong way; I need to get this under control NOW and get back on the wagon. I'm going to aikido tomorrow for the first time in three weeks, and I've been doing strength training for the past couple of days (yesterday was abs, today was arms). I've been continuing to walk at lunchtime, even in the sub-freezing cold, although the colder weather leads to shorter walks.

This week, I'm focusing on not just getting to bed earlier, but establishing a nightly routine. I get my lunch ready, gather my iPod and PDA and whatnot (and tonight, "whatnot" will include packing my aikido bag), then sit zazen (seated meditation) for 20 minutes. I've found that really helps me slow down my mind at the end of the day. I'm not sure if it helps me sleep better, but I know it's good for me on several levels. After zazen, I wash my face and brush my teeth and get into bed, and allow myself to read for a half hour before lights out.

Speaking of my nightly routine, it's about time for me to go do that. Before I go, though, I want to commit to eating LESS this weekend. Not avoiding eating out altogether, but at least making more sensible decisions. Like getting the chicken salad croissant with tortilla soup instead of the cajun chicken pasta. Like eating an appetizer or half of an entree-sized salad for lunch. That's my goal for this week: eat sensibly in restaurants.

Next Tuesday, I go with my co-worker to Chicago for more training, so I may or may not be able to update. We'll see how I do in Chicago...

 

Tired Of This

Several years ago: New Year's Eve at Aaron's apartment on Enterprise in BG. After a long evening of adult beverages, food, and video games, I find myself lying on Aaron's bed, with the room spinning around me. "I don't want to be drunk anymore," I say, as rationally as possible. Aaron patiently puts me to bed to sleep it off.

Last week: Bronchitis. The first case I can remember having — or at least, having officially diagnosed (I couldn't remember back when I had it at age one). One week after being diagnosed and getting prescription meds, I find myself still hacking and coughing and not yet at 100%. "I don't want to be sick anymore," I say, between coughs, knowing full well that only time and meds will cure what ails me.

Now. Overweight. Still, after years of struggling (sometimes all-out, sometimes admittedly half-assed). I see myself in a video, full-length, doing aikido, looking frumpy and out of shape and unattractive. And it hits me: "I don't want to be fat anymore," I say to myself.

I'm steadily losing a pound and a half per week, and have been doing so since January. I've lost nine pounds, give or take. If I keep going at this rate, I could potentially be at my "ideal" weight by the end of August. I'm just so sick of looking and feeling the way I do, and so frustrated with the amount of time (and willpower and planning) it's going to take to do it right.

I guess all I can do is keep doing what I'm doing. Keep moving in the right direction, one step at a time, and eventually I'll get there. I'm still curious to see what I'll look like in thirty pounds. It's just... damn. I'm sick of being fat.

 

The Challenge: Week #5

	Diana	James
Week 1:	0.5%	1.5%
Week 2:	1.6%	2.3%
Week 3:	3.8%	2.3%
Week 4:	3.8%	3.5%
Week 5:	4.2%	???

As you may recall, I had a really fun case of bronchitis last week. I'm still getting over said bronchitis — I still have another day and a half of antibiotics to go — but I at least met my week's goal of maintaining my weight and diminishing the nasty rattle in my chest.

Highlights of the week include me skipping aikido on Wednesday and Saturday, due to a nasty and persistent cough; eating a deliberate all-out cheat meal on Saturday at Famous Dave's with Aaron, Mark and Rocky; and caving to my own desire for Chinese at lunch on Sunday. Other than that, my week involved going to work, not walking much (probably a poor idea to walk outside in sub-freezing temps with bronchitis), and being miserable and annoyed with my breathing difficulties.

However. Now that the nasty hacking cough has diminished to a mere occasional rattle, it's time to step things back up. Last night, I did some upper body work: three supersets of dumbbell chest presses with bent over rows, and three supersets of concentration curls with tricep extensions (12 reps per set). This evening, I can feel mild but noticeable soreness in my pecs, my upper back / shoulders, and my biceps. I think that workout's a keeper.

Tomorrow, I plan to go to Aikido for the first time since my test. How I feel during and afterward will determine whether I attempt to go on Saturday morning or not.

As an aside? Watching the video of kyu testing made me realize how frumpy I look in real life. It almost made me not want to go back to aikido at all. I was so embarrassed — I look sluggish and dumpy, especially compared to others (even others of my same rank). Anytime I feel my will for weight loss fading, all I need to do is watch the thirty seconds of my close-up; THAT should scare me back into line.

I feel like President Skroob: "Why didn't somebody TELL me my ass was so big?!"

Anyway. Plan of attack for the coming week. Exercise, and lots of it. Daily lunchtime walks are a given, but I need to add in strength training in the evenings. I'm planning to do some abs tonight (after I work on the Toledo Zen Center's podcast), then tomorrow is Aikido, then I'll probably rinse and repeat with the upper body thing I did yesterday. (Aikido is not only a decent cardio workout, but the falling down and standing back up for an hour is a great leg workout, too.)

If I stick to my diet and ramp up the exercise, I see no reason why I shouldn't reach my 5% goal this week. Maintaining said goal for seven consecutive days? That's the next challenge.

 

The Challenge: Week #4

	Diana	James
Week 1:	0.5%	1.5%
Week 2:	1.6%	2.3%
Week 3:	3.8%	2.3%
Week 4:	3.8%	3.5%

Over the course of the week, I gained and lost three pounds, ending up today where I was at the last weigh-in: 204.5. Considering that I've been sick with bronchitis since Saturday evening, I'm OK with that result.

I focused my sights this week on Saturday's Aikido test (which I still need to document), attending class on Monday and Wednesday, and the Basic Seminar on Saturday morning. I was surprised when that didn't bolster my weight loss, and I gained weight instead. It's possible my muscles were retaining fluid while they were trying to heal (isn't that how it works?).

Another thing that may have hampered my weight loss was a lack of meal planning. In weeks past, I've had brown rice pre-made for every lunch, just waiting for some ground turkey or canned chicken or tuna and whatever healthy goodness goes with my protein of choice. This week, though, it's been mainly fruit and ready-to-eat foods like low-sugar yogurt, or a pita with hummus. Still not bad for me, but not as protein-rich and fiber-full as my lunches should have been.

Last week's goal of "Early To Bed, Early To Rise" didn't work out so well. Actually, it didn't work at all. I'm hoping that this week, in trying to get myself healthy again, I end up getting to bed earlier and sleeping more. I don't think I'm going to set any other goal for myself this week, honestly. Get the rattle out of my chest. Maintain my weight as well as I can. Take care of myself. Pamper myself. Be gentle, and not go for walks out in the sub-freezing temperatures (probably not so good for bronchitis). Stretch out my still-stiff muscles. Pass on Aikido until I feel truly healthy again.

James has almost caught up to me this week, after having his own sick time during Week 3. It's still anyone's game.

 

The Challenge: Week #3

Running Weight Loss Totals:

	Diana	James
Week 1:	0.5%	1.5%
Week 2:	1.6%	2.3%
Week 3:	3.8%	???

Official Tuesday weight: 204.5 pounds. This was a one-and-a-half pound loss from yesterday, and I attribute it to yesterday's hefty two-hour session of aikido, after which I was too queasy to eat more than a small bowl of cereal for dinner. I fully expect to bounce back by a pound by tomorrow morning. And I'm OK with that.

The big accomplishment of the week was a steady weight loss over the weekend. We still ate out once, at Zoup, where I had a bowl of seafood chowder with multigrain bread. (I love eating at places where I can narrow down my meal choices ahead of time by checking the nutrition facts.) We made all our other meals at home: leftover salmon and green beans for Saturday dinner, omelettes for Sunday lunch, and Three Amigos Chili (thanks, Sheryl!) for Sunday dinner.

Exercise for the week was basically aikido on Wednesday — and yesterday — and a few days of lunch walks. I didn't do aikido on Saturday morning because I was too exhausted to bother (thanks, womanhood). I've had aikido on the brain, thanks to my upcoming test, and I'm hesitant to do any strenuous exercise during the week (read: strength training) other than aikido, for fear of hurting myself so that I can't test. This is also a great lame excuse for me to avoid cardio, as well, even though it's what I need.

This Saturday is my aikido test, after which will be a potluck with all kinds of food. Hopefully, some of it will actually be good for me, being that there are plenty of vegetarians and proponents of macrobiotics and general health nuts in the dojo. If the Zen Brownies make an appearance, though, I'm definitely going to partake. :-) (There's nothing overly untoward / weird / illegal in the Zen Brownies; they're just REALLY good.) If I gain weight from that one meal, so be it. I give myself permission to indulge after (hopefully) earning my rank in aikido.

My focus for this week is going to involve getting enough sleep, and getting up at a reasonable time in the morning. I'd rather have my breakfast at home than just bring a banana to work and call that a meal, and I'd also like to start showing up to work ON TIME (even though, yes, I am salaried, and no one's said anything yet). I'm going to spend a goodly amount of time on ME before bed, including all the normal hygiene (that I sometimes skip — I'm so bad), plus some quiet time sitting zazen, and generally helping myself calm down and relax and make myself feel just a little pampered. So often, I'll just let myself get ridiculously tired, and finally throw together a lunch, tromp upstairs, braid my hair, strip (er, I mean, put on my jammies), get in bed, read a few pages of a book out of habit, then turn off the light once I can't keep my eyes open. This is, I fear, not the healthiest of nighttime rituals. I resolve to change that this week, and see if it changes my attitude and mood (and possibly my eating and/or exercise habits).

Thanks to Lauren (a.k.a. "Bouffa") and Sheryl and Aaron for their support this week. It's helpful to know I have friends who want me to succeed and be happy, as simple and cheesy as that sounds.

 

The Challenge: Week #2

Running Weight Loss Totals:

	Diana	James
Week 1:	0.5%	1.5%
Week 2:	1.6%	2.3%

Official Tuesday weight: 209. My low weight for the week was 208, though, and I've been hovering between 208 and 208.5 all week (except for last Tuesday's weigh-in, of course).

Last week, I declared that my strategy would be to eat out only once during the weekend, and eat the remainder of the weekend's meals at home. I managed to successfully stick to my plan, only eating out for lunch on Saturday, after aikido. I also managed to track everything I ate over the weekend, including my lunch at the Reynolds Garden Café.

Next step: eat HEALTHY at home and in restaurants.

Lunch? At the Reynolds Garden Café? Racked up every last calorie I'd burned in aikido that morning, plus some. Ninety minutes of martial arts wiped out by one giant Smothered Chicken Omelet. And I knew better, but I ate it anyway. Dinner that night was Sweet Mustard Chicken and frozen green beans; still a calorie-laden meal, though, since I ate two chicken breasts instead of just one.

It was Sunday's lunch that was really the kicker, though: I broke down and made alfredo sauce. With full-fat cream cheese, and butter, and parmesan, and 2% milk. Ate it with baked chicken over low-carb organic whole-wheat elbow macaroni. It was a great low-carb meal, but not so much a good balanced meal. Incredible amounts of fat and overall calories... and with no aikido to balance them out. Dinner was super-spicy Thai Coconut Shrimp over brown rice: still a little high in calories, actually. Or maybe my portions are a little out of kilter. Either way, Sunday was a learning experience. I guess I should count myself lucky that I only gained a pound and a half from Sunday to Monday.

As far as exercise goes, I've been doing OK. I take half-hour walks during my lunch most days of the work week (although I'll sometimes work through my lunch one day a week as personal penance for coming in late, even though I'm salary). I went to aikido on Wednesday and Saturday (finally, a day of no bleeding!), plus I did some pilates last Tuesday, and yoga last night.

My goal for next week is going to be portion control, especially on the weekends. I want to make a concerted effort to eat small, frequent meals on weekends, like I do during the week. Weekend weight-gain is my biggest challenge right now; once I can maintain a steady weight from Friday to Monday, I'll move on to another challenge, like exercise.

 

The Challenge: Week #1

Week 1 Summary:
Diana: 0.5% body weight lost
James: 1.5% body weight lost

The good news is that I got back on the wagon. I lost one pound in one week, which is healthy and sustainable. I became more aware of my eating habits.

The bad news is that, while I became more aware of my weekend eating habits in particular, I failed to change them this week. This allowed James to pull ahead. Had I not regained weight over the weekend, I could have potentially tied James with a 1.4% loss (or more) in the first week. I did see 209 on Friday, but I said goodbye to it on Saturday with my day of Indian and Mexican food, and continued to wave farewell with Sunday's lunch of Chinese.

My strategy for the coming week is to only eat out once over the weekend, and to make it lunch, not dinner. That will give me the chance to burn off any evilness during the rest of the day. Usually, Aaron and I will eat out for three out of four meals during the weekend, only eating Sunday dinner at home. That's going to change. I'm going to be trying out some new healthy recipes this weekend, to make eating at home fun.

I'm going to continue my current plan of eating 1400 Calories per day, broken down into 40% carbohydrate / 30% protein / 30% fat. I've been doing fairly well with not overeating in the evenings, thanks to my DietOrganizer application. It's like Deal-a-Meal: when my DietOrganizer Palm app says I have no calories left, I'm done eating for the day.

I'm also going to continue attending two aikido classes per week (Wed and Sat) instead of just on Wednesdays, although that has more to do with my upcoming test than the weight loss challenge.

I'm surprised at how much a challenge can motivate me. When I found out today that James had lost a higher percentage than I had, that immediately intensified my resolve to improve in the coming week. I know that I should be able to just compete with myself, go for a new personal best, make it a game, all that self-improvement stuff... but that doesn't seem to work for me. I always rationalize that it doesn't matter if I screw up, because it's not like there's anything at stake in the short run.

But now? Now, there's bragging rights to consider. And a dinner. Preferably steak.

 

2008 Weight Loss Challenge

Starting weight: 212.5 lbs. That's up fourteen pounds since August. My goal weight for this challenge is 202, at which point I will have lost 5% of my body weight. It's a start.

I got James's starting weight and calculated his goal weight; I'm not sure if he wants that posted here or not, so I'll let him add it in the comments if he wants.

I had a good first full day of paying special attention to what I eat and how active I am. (I don't want to call it a diet, per se — that has such negative connotations. Let's just call it the Challenge.)

I look forward to getting back down to the weight I was, so I can start over and lose the weight I wanted to lose in the first place.

In other fitness news, tonight's aikido gave me sore toes, skinned knees, and new mat burns. I plan to go more often this month, though, since I test for rank in only four weeks. I'll be either adding to the collection of aikido-related almost-injuries, or figuring out how to avoid them. We'll see...

 

A Present To Myself

I never thought of myself as competitive; in fact, I usually find that I'm quite the opposite. In general, I like to be behind the scenes, making things go, rather than vying for attention and praise or fighting to be seen amongst the elite.

Last March, though, when my co-worker James and I had a friendly fitness wager, I discovered that striving to prove that I had just a little more oomph than someone else really helped keep me on the straight and narrow, fitness-wise.

A couple of weeks ago, I proposed a new challenge to James, and he accepted. I had been going to hold off on announcing the challenge until January 1st, but I got to thinking of it today as not only a challenge, but a present to myself. It's not even a New Year's Resolution — it's a present to myself. I will help myself to lose weight and get more fit; plus, I'll do it before James does. :-)

The terms of the wager:

• On the morning of January 1, 2008, each party will weigh and make their weight known to the other party. This may be done privately, via e-mail, or publicly, via dianaschnuth.net.
• The first party to lose 5% of his or her body weight AND maintain that loss for seven consecutive days wins the challenge.
• The party who loses the challenge must buy dinner for the winning party and the winning party's spouse.

(I realized afterward that weighing on the morning of January 1st might help me avoid indulging too much on New Year's Eve, too — bonus.)

After we agreed on the terms, I thought that maybe it would be fun to get our spouses into the challenge. After all, I know Christina was on a weight loss kick for a while, as was Aaron; plus, it's always easier to keep with a program if your significant other is on the same program. I haven't gotten a definite yea or nay on either spouse. If one or both of them decide to get in on the game, though, it'll make winning and losing a little less clear-cut, as there will be a first, second, and third (and possibly fourth) place. Will the winner disqualify him or herself by gaining back a certain percentage of weight before one of the last two challengers loses their five percent? I suppose we'll have to solidify that once we find out who's in.

As it stands now, I'll have to lose 10 or 10½ lbs to make my five percent. Expect a detailed post in one week for the beginning of the challenge. The participants are encouraged (but not required) to post their initial weigh-ins in the comments of that upcoming post.

As a side note: the aikido dojo is closed for the week between Christmas and New Year's. Since tonight is when I usually go to aikido, and my lower body is usually what's sore afterward, I did a short lower body workout in lieu of keiko. My set consisted of 25 leg adductions with a resistance band, 25 wall squats with my balance ball (body weight only; no dumbbells), and 25 stiff-legged deadlifts with 5 lb dumbbells. I did 25 reps of each exercise in a superset (no rests), took one or two minutes for a drink of water, then did them all again.

My short but intense (for me) lower body workout promises to give me the weekly soreness I crave, in the absence of my normal aikido workout. We'll see...

 

My Weight History

I got to thinking about the home videos I digitized from back in 1999, and how the first thing that pops into my mind when I see that image of myself is how fat I was. I was 23 years old, in a stable relationship, living with a roommate who had become my best friend, spending the holidays with my family, generally happy overall — and all I can see now, looking back, is my weight.

That's sad on so many levels...

read more...

 

Diet Do-Over

I was listening to the Reasonable Diet's Six Minutes of Sanity podcast recently, when Sandra Ahten talked about her I-Week diet. The idea is to eat for one week in a way that reduces cravings. I listened to her talk about the brown rice and lean protein and fruits and veggies that are allowed on this one-week retraining of sorts, and the sugar and flour and processed foods that aren't, and I thought, "I can do that!" After all, it's not *that* much different from how I eat anyway, and I really don't have that many cravings. Right?

Wrong.

The I-Week diet is turning into the "I weak" diet for me so far. Monday's diet log was marred only by imitation crab, a processed food that really should not have been my midnight snack. Tuesday saw some sugar-free preserves, another processed food, but the major departure came when I started craving sweets after dinner. I tried Sandra's Sweet Spiced Rice recipe, which wasn't bad... but what was really calling my name was the Rocky Road light ice cream bars in the freezer. Yes, I caved. And then I ate more imitation crab before bed.

Today was on its way to being my comeback, until a surprise pizza party was announced — and who can resist a pizza party? Not me, not anymore. Three or four years ago, in the throes of Atkins, when I thought that any inflated amount of carbs would take me back to 250 lbs (do not pass Go, do not collect $200), I would have eaten what I brought for lunch and the pizza would not have even been a temptation. Now that my attitude has changed, though — one day of being bad won't kill me — I find it harder and harder to resist yummy evilness. So, I pitched in my two bucks and am eagerly awaiting some BBQ chicken pizza.

Tomorrow is a building-wide informal banquet, and I'm not sure what the Fun Team™ is planning for that. I'm guessing that whole wheat products and lean protein are not on the menu, though. But I'm still going to partake. Friday evening, I'll be heading down to BG to meet some friends from work. Friday is most people's last day, plus there are several birthdays being celebrated, so I've been planning to join the normal weekly celebration for once.

So, basically, this week is practice. I'm following the Scott Smith rule of "be more gooder than you are badder," and that's keeping me from feeling like a total flop.

(Incidentally? I unsubscribed from the Motivation to Move podcast when I started feeling like there were more commercials for the Premium Membership than there was real content. Even the listener e-mails were thinly-veiled commercials for the other products he offers. Once I stopped being motivated and started being annoyed, I unsubscribed. I'm sure he's doing well enough that one less subscriber to his free feed certainly won't be noticed.)

While I am proud of myself for maintaining my weight for some time now (within five pounds of 200 for about the past year, after re-losing ten pounds that crept up on me), I'm ready to get down below being on the verge of obesity.

Or am I? Apparently, I'm not ready enough.

 

Body For Life, Week #4: I'm Out.

Body recomposition is a noble goal.

However, it is no longer a goal of mine. Not a primary goal, anyway.

Matter of fact, I think I'm going to take a breather from attempting active weight loss for a while. I'll still "eat right," which is to say that I'll be eating four or five meals a day, each with an element of protein and healthy carbohydrate, and I'll avoid sugars and other undesirable carbs, and I'll drink between 8 to 10 glasses of water per day. I just won't be following a specific regimen for the time being.

As far as exercise goes, I'm going to wait until I figure out my aikido schedule before I start working out at home again. Aikido seems to be a great lower body workout, and a decent cardio workout, as well (for now). First, I need to determine how sore I'll be for how long after each class, and whether I can manage both Mondays and Wednesdays or whether I'll have to choose one or the other, then I'll plan out some upper body and NordicTrack training schedules at home.

I think my weight is fluctuating due to my swollen muscles, possibly. I think that's how it works, anyway. At any rate, the morning after the first day I went to aikido, my weight had been down almost to the pre-Japan-trip mark. Granted, I lost my lunch during class, and didn't eat dinner after, so that could have something to do with it. The following day, I jumped up by a staggering five pounds in one day, back up about the 200-mark. Then, the next day, I gained another two pounds. I've been steadily losing again since, but it's mighty frustrating to be eating right and exercising and not seeing the results I'd like, as fast as I'd like.

So, I need some time to regroup. I have some other things to focus on, and BFL is just going to have to wait. For now, my exercise regimen is aikido, my other main focus is job-hunting, and I deal with other issues as they arise.

(Like tonight's issue of the Googlebot using up all of the LSM site's remaining bandwidth for the month in one fell swoop. Thanks, Google. *sigh*)

Time to turn off the computer and start winding down for the night. I'm going to crash good tonight.

 

Body For Life, Week #3

Official weight: 199 pounds. Up half a pound from last week. (Today's unofficial weight was 200.)

I took my body fat reading this morning, too, just because I was curious and didn't want to wait another week. It started at 31.8%, and kept dropping each successive reading, until by the fourth reading it said 31.2%. I figure I'm below 32%, at least, maybe closer to 31.5%. I seem to be losing body fat, at any rate, which is good.

I've been slacking on the diet still, not as diligent about sticking to the Approved Foods List as I was, and that's obvious from my results. I've been slacking a little on the workouts, too, but that's mainly been since Monday. With my new workout possibility of Aikido, I'll probably end up making myself a new schedule of exercise that doesn't conform exactly to the BFL guidelines. (I'm probably not going to be too keen on doing a two hour Aikido practice, then coming straight home and doing 45 minutes of strength training, then promptly going to bed.)

My attitude this week has been pretty overwhelmingly defeatist. I had a super depressed stretch there, and I've been really irritable lately, and I'm not sure where this is all stemming from. Maybe it's The Pill; maybe it's stress that I'm ignoring; maybe it's a combination of things. All I know is that I'm tired of being irritable and defensive toward Aaron all the time. Maybe getting back on the wagon will help level out my moods.

I was almost ready to quit the BFL program this weekend until I got my official entry kit in the mail, complete with postcard to send in to confirm my participation in the program. I filled it out and sent it in, kind of half-heartedly. I don't want to be a quitter, but I do want to see some results. Here's hoping that next week's progress photos will provide the results I'm seeking...

 

Body For Life, Week #2

This evening, I did something I should have done two weeks ago: a full-body measurement. Mainly for my own record-keeping purposes, here are the results:

Weight: 198.5 lbs
Neck: 14"
Bust (around the fullest part): 43" or 44"
Chest (below the boobs, not the armpits): 37" or 38"
(I measured twice, and I came up with different measurements for my bust and chest.)
Upper Waist (the narrowest part): 37"
Lower Waist (where my pants live): 42"
Hips: 48"
Upper Arm: 13"
Lower Arm: 10.5"
Thigh: 25"
Calf: 15.75"

(Just look at those measurements. Hi, I'm the spokesmodel for the Pear Shape. *sigh* BTW, for anyone who doesn't know me personally, I'm 5'10" tall, so at least I've got that on my side.)

For those who might be keeping score, my last official set of full-body measurements was posted in May 2006, almost exactly 13 months ago. Overall, I've lost thirteen pounds in thirteen months, plus about an inch off all major measurements. Man, it feels like my hip measurement should have changed more than it did, because I have quite a bit of loose skin around my belly button. Weird.

I've been freeforming the diet just a little, not planning everything every day, mainly due to me being a dork and spending too long at the computer at night. I mean to give myself time to write out the next day's meals and exercise, plus pack my lunch and snacks, but it doesn't always happen. I haven't been too evil, though; the worst thing I could accuse myself of is not eating enough protein. My "default diet" seems to be fruit and Ostrims, if I don't have time to make something proper for lunch.

Cardio is and always has been my downfall. Even back when I was in my best shape ever, I absolutely hated running. I've always preferred resistance training to aerobics. Maybe that explains some things. Anyway, I've been enjoying the weight training part of the program, and neglecting the cardio. I just can't make myself go run around the block or drive to the park, and the trampoline is so God-awful boring sometimes. I know. I need to get over it.

This past weekend, while we were visiting the bookstore at the mall (where I bought both Men's Health and Women's Health magazines), we swung past the Dick's Sporting Goods that's next door. I bought not only the equipment I'd said I needed before — namely, two more 10# plates, new dumbbell bars, and a heavy resistance band — but I also got myself a 75cm stability ball. That thing rules in so many ways. Between that and my new bands (complete with door anchor!), I can do almost all of the exercises I'd poo-poohed before as being impossible without gym equipment. Cable pulls, back extensions, leg presses... yeah. I'm good to go.

I'm not overly upset about the scale only moving one pound since last week's weigh-in. I *feel* firmer. My stomach feels more solid (to me, anyway). My legs definitely feel more solid. It won't be long before something kicks in (probably my cardio workouts) and the fat starts to melt off and leave behind the muscle I'm building.

It's still early in the game, but I feel positive about things. Not just weight loss, but Things In General.

Yeah... it's all good.

 

Body For Life, Week #1

I've been completely exhausted for the last two days now, and it's not casting a positive light on my feelings for my one-week mark on the Body for Life diet. I've even resorted to caffeine — Diet Mountain Dew. Add to that a less-than-stellar weight-loss for the week, and little to no change in my body fat reading, and I'm a little disenchanted. That doesn't mean I'm quitting, though.

This week's official weight: 199.5 lbs. That's a one and a half pound loss from my official starting weight of 201 last Tuesday, even though last Wednesday charted me at 200 even. My body fat percentage hasn't changed much yet: last Tuesday's reading was just over 31%, last Wednesday's reading was just over 32%, and yesterday's one-week reading was 32.8%. Granted, my Omron Body Fat Analyzer is really only good for a guesstimate, so I should probably go easy on the body fat readings and only do them with my monthly photos.

I've read online that a lot of BFL participants don't experience any actual weight loss; the major change is in body composition. Fat takes up five times the volume of muscle, after all, so losing a given amount of fat and gaining the equivalent weight in muscle would make a huge difference.

I do have a couple of visible, non-number-related goals for this 12-week program:

1. To have my thighs not touch at the top when I stand with my feet shoulder-width apart


2. For my upper arms to be the same shape (or close to it) when my arms are raised and when they're down at my sides (i.e. no more embarrassing arm-fat expansion when my arms are pressed against my sides)

I think those are reasonable expectations for a 12-week weight-training program, really.

We made a run to Dick's Sporting Goods this past weekend, and got me a couple of 10-pound plates for my dumbbells and a couple of spring-loaded weight collars to replace my lame ones that require tools in order to change plates. I was a big dork, though, and didn't heed Aaron's repeated question of "Are you sure that's all you need?"

I'm planning to go back to Dick's on Thursday or Friday and buy myself two more 10-pound plates (you need TWO pairs of plates for dumbbells, silly), new dumbbell bars with threaded collars (the clips don't quite fit on my paint-chipped garage-sale bars), and a stronger resistance band (mainly for leg presses — my quads are getting neglected, compared to everything else). After that, I should be good to go for a while. That'll give me dumbbells ranging from 5 lbs to 35 lbs, with the plates I already have, and that should be sufficient for my needs for at least another couple few weeks.

The diet has been going well, for the most part. I'm taking advantage of the Cheat Day aspect of the program, and saving all my evil cravings for Saturdays (except the dark chocolate that got the best of me yesterday). I'm eating six small meals a day, which seems like a lot, even though the meals are small. I *am* enjoying getting to eat sweet potatoes and pasta again, even in small portions.

Even though the scale hasn't seen much action, I still *feel* better (apart from being tired these past few days). I stand taller, I feel firmer, and my muscles are pleasantly sore almost all the time with all this working out I've been doing.

I can dig it.

 

Body for Life, Day 1

I don't recall exactly when I decided that I was going to start the Body for Life program today. It was before the Japan Trip, at any rate, because I packed the Body for Life book in our carry-on (even if I didn't end up reading it on the plane). I knew I would take a "diet vacation" while we were in Japan — when we came back, after the Memorial Day holiday and the Super Crazy Japan Party™, I would attack my own fitness with vigor. Being that I have just a little longer than three months to find a new job, it seemed that taking 12 weeks to do the BFL Challenge made sense, too.

I hadn't started out with the intention of doing The Challenge. I just so happened to remember that it existed after I decided to get with the BFL program. Not that I think I'll win any big prizes, mind you... but officially entering the challenge is a form of accountability, and I'm all about that.

Another major form of accountability? The "before" picture. I realized last week that I didn't have any appropriate workout clothes in which to take a midriff-baring before picture. So, while we were out running errands yesterday, I drug Aaron into Target and I bought something I never EVER thought I would buy.

A bikini. A two-piece, completely midriff-baring swimsuit. In size extra-large.

Dear God.

...but, actually, I'm looking forward to wearing it in public someday. Not today, probably not anytime this summer, but someday.

I took my before photos today, after work — which was a challenge, since the tripod that I was using broke a while back, and I had to resort to setting the camera on furniture of appropriate heights that faced blank walls that were big enough to serve as a backdrop. (Note to self: a light stand, an umbrella, and a cheap backdrop will really come in handy in about 12 weeks.)

OK, friends: if you want to see the before picture, here it is. I'm not posting it in the body of the entry because, well, I'm not THAT much of a masochist. I will be posting the after picture on or around... *checking calendar* ...August 21st.

As for my first day... I think it went well. I planned out my meals and exercise yesterday, and followed them fairly well, for the most part. I did some decent interval training on the mini-trampoline this evening, and broke a decent sweat. I always forget how GOOD it feels to sweat during and after a workout. Tomorrow is a lower-body workout, I think, and I'll have to plan that one out this evening, while I'm planning tomorrow's meals.

My starting point? 201 lbs (yes, I gained five back in Japan) and 31% body fat.
My goal? 180 lbs (not necessarily in 12 weeks) and/or 20% body fat.

I think this is a completely reasonable goal. It involves me losing 25 pounds of fat and gaining only five pounds of muscle, by my calculations. Would I like to see 170? Sure. But we'll see how I'm feeling once I get to my first goal. It's entirely possible that I'll be happy enough with my new body composition that I'll have reached a good stopping point. For the time being.

Day one was a success. Only 83 more days to go...

 

Part of the Elite Few

I guess I never realized that I'm one of only 5% of dieters who have kept off the weight long-term. (Does three to four years count as long-term?) Sure, I gained back 10 of my 50; but I lost it again, plus more.

Check out the article 5 Secrets of the 5% at SparkPeople to find out how I did it. Apparently.

Actually, they're not far off the mark. I just hadn't thought about it.

P.S. - If anyone's interested, I'm down to 197 lbs.

 

Plateau? Smashie, Smashie!

Heck, yeah! Eat that, you damn one-month plateau! Ungh! *bitchslap*

*ahem* Sorry.

This week, as I mentioned earlier, I've been watching my carbohydrate intake more diligently. I've been shooting for 125g of carbs and at least 25g of fiber, for a total of 100g of net carbs (since fiber isn't digestible, y'know). I've been going a little over, but it's apparently the intent that counts. I've continued to track my food on SparkPeople, but I've been manually tabulating my sugar, as SparkPeople has issue with letting people see how much sugar they've eaten. Can't have people avoiding fruit, after all, since fruit has sugar in it.

At any rate, I've kept my protein above 140g daily, my total carbohydrates below 160g, and my fiber above 23g (except yesterday, which only made it to 18g). My sugar intake has been pretty decent, too, staying in the 20g-30g range. Now, most hard-core low-carbers would scoff at these numbers, since Atkins Induction limits you to 20g of carbohydrate per day total, and NO sugar, period. All my sugars have been... let's see... OK, one day I had some low-cal ice cream that had 16g of sugar, but the rest is mostly my organic breakfast cereal, South Beach Diet snack bars, Splenda Brown Sugar Blend, stuff like that. I feel pretty positive about my food intake, considering this week's results.

Remember how I said I'd try this for a couple weeks, and see if I lost three pounds in two weeks?

I just lost four and a half pounds in one week.

I weigh 197.5 lbs this morning, in contrast to the 202 I weighed this past Sunday.

Tomorrow's Easter in Westlake, with Aaron's family, so I expect I won't be monitoring my carbs quite as well as I have been. I'll still make a concerted effort to be good, stock up on the meat, go easy on the starchy goodness, and only eat one small dessert. (Believe me, at Uncle Pete's, dessert is a course unto itself. We're responsible for bringing a cake, and I know Pete's wife Dee will likely be making something scrumptious, too.) I may gain back a little weight, stabilize at a slightly higher number — and I'm OK with that.

I have no intention of getting back up to 200, though.

 

We Are The Champions

Looks like James owes me ten bucks.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much success following the SparkDiet this month. Well, I had success in *following* it, but not in losing weight because of it. My weight on March 1st was 202.5 lbs; my weight today, on April 1st, is 202 lbs. After the losses and the gains over the past month, I'm only half a pound below where I started.

Time for a new strategy.

Starting this week, I'm going to be monitoring my carbohydrate intake more closely, and to hell with calories. Well, calories are a good judge of portion size in general, so not entirely to hell with them. They just won't be my be-all end-all, man-I-fucked-up gauge.

If this doesn't do something for me, maybe I ought to go back on a "real" diet. One that's published in a book, and that I follow properly, instead of this grow-your-own bullshit I've been trying to do lately. It's obviously not as successful, and I'm obviously not a medical professional or nutritionist or personal trainer. I don't know.

I'm not going to beat myself up over it, though. I'm going to give my grow-your-own SparkDiet another, oh, two weeks or so. If I haven't lost at least three pounds by the end of two weeks — I think that's a reasonable expectation — I'm going to go back on a structured low-carb diet. Probably not Atkins, but maybe Sugar Busters or another related diet. I certainly have enough books that I've never read and reviewed for my now abandoned podcast. We'll see.

 

In The Home Stretch

In less than seven days, either myself or my co-worker James will be the winner of a $10 wager.

About three weeks ago, we agreed that we would compete for SparkPoints at SparkPeople.com, and whoever had the most points accumulated in the month of March would win $10. Right now, it's still anybody's game. I'm sure we're both going to pull out all the stops this week, though.

The one major point-gaining strategy I've been slacking on is cardio. I can claim 1 SparkPoint for every five minutes of cardio, up to a max of 24 points (that's two hours) per day. Usually, I only end up doing my 30-minute walk over lunch, and maybe some yoga in the evenings. (I'm not sure yoga should count as cardio, but that's how they have it categorized, so OK...) This week, head cold permitting, I'm going to ramp up my cardio. I'll do 45 minutes to an hour walk at lunch (which means I'll have to get there and clock in on time in the morning), and I'll do yoga and rebounding (trampolining) nightly. Hell, if I feel up to it, I'll probably go jogging at Wildwood tomorrow or Tuesday, since the weather's supposed to be so warm. That much activity in one week should not only kick up my SparkPoints, but also break me out of this goddamned plateau.

I thought before that maybe if I increased my fiber and protein, that would help. It doesn't seem to be. So, this week, I'm also — no, wait. This week I'm already increasing my activity. I shouldn't decrease my carb intake at the same time. I'll hold off on that, and see if doing more cardio does the trick. If it doesn't, *then* I'll look at my carbs.

All righty. Wish me luck, both in my competition against James and in my battle against the neverending scale reading of 201.5 pounds.