Well, Christmas, of course. The holiday my family celebrates. The holiday that my family has celebrated for generations, as far as I can tell—there are no non-Christians that I've found in the family tree so far.

Christmas is the preferred holiday of choice for the majority of Americans—it's been ingrained into the culture, customs, and expectations. You're expected not to be offended if someone sends you a Christmas card, be it non-religious and innocuous or filled with quotes from the Gospels and garnished with an artist's rendition of the Nativity. You're expected to wish your colleagues a Merry Christmas before the boss lets the office leave for holiday vacation. At the very least, you should wish them a Happy Holiday—New Year's Day is a holiday, after all, even if you don't celebrate Christmas. Or, you might celebrate Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah, or Yuletide. (Yuletide, by the way, is not just a euphemism for the time of the year. It is actually a Pagan holiday, celebrated by those who worship Nature and the changing seasons.)

And I do all these Christmasy things. I believe in Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Men. (And Women.) I think that the spirit of giving is a beautiful thing, and something that should be nurtured throughout the year... but if it can only happen once a year, then I guess that's better than nothing at all. I love to gather with my family, to eat a grand meal, to spend time together with nothing to do but simply enjoy one another's company. All these things are independent of the religious aspect of Christmas, and something I can join in without feeling like some sort of hypocrite.

Christmas carols... since I grew up with them, sure. Heck, who else will sing the harmony if I don't? Just because I sing it doesn't mean I have to believe it... as evidenced by the many doofy songs I sang in school choirs throughout the years, including the Ewok song from Star Wars in 6th grade, "Hangin' Tough" in 8th grade, and "I Bought Me a Cat" in high school.

Prayers are where I draw the line, though. I will bow my head out of respect for the beliefs of others, but I will not participate. My family knows better than to ask me to pray—they knew that even before I announced my disbelief in Christianity. I went to a wedding recently, and did not recite The Lord's Prayer with the congregation (which I might not even have done when I still called myself a Christian, anyway). I refuse to make a hypocrite out of myself by paying lip service to a God that I don't believe in, just to appease society in general.

If more people would study their beliefs, rather than taking them for granted, they might see that they're simply doing what their parents did, what their family has done, rather than finding their own path. Yes, this country was founded by Christians. Yes, there are still many predominantly Christian beliefs ingrained into the fabric of our country and our society. But do you have to take them at face value? Do you have to believe anything just because someone says it is true? No. Even the religion I grew up in knew that much. Either you have a testimony of what you know is true, or you are following on blind faith. Faith is good. Not knowing or realizing what you truly believe in is not.

Happy Yuletide, everyone. May you find your way in the New Year.

written December 2001